Archive for category Erotica

The telephone was an incredible invention. But once we got over how revolutionary it was, we also realized what an incredible annoyance it was. Because it forced us to communicate with friends and family whether we wanted to or not. Which is why text messaging has literally become our telecommunications savior.

We can ask or answer a question without being forced into an entire conversation. We can have quick, to-the-point conversations, and even multiple conversations with multiple people at once.

And now Phone sex also has its abbreviated and more convenient version delivered in the form of “sexting”.

“Sexting Etiquette” is sort of an oxymoron, but there are some do’s and don’ts to consider. Below is my list:

Do:

Sext drunk - People always say, don’t text drunk. But then TFLN would be lame. Besides, this is sexting. That’s like saying, don’t get drunk and have sex. That’s how we lose inhibitions and hook it up. We come up with our best material when we’re drunk off our asses.

Spell out dirty words – Spell out “cock” and “pussy”. It just doesn’t have the same effect abbreviated. Once I’ve 810 ur puC Im gonna 5FS d@ shit. No, not sexy and sometimes you spend more time trying to decipher the sext than actually getting off on it. And for the love of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, lose the ” * ” in the dirty words. This isn’t Twitter. It’s your own private phone. If you type ” I want to f*ck you”, you might as well type, “I want to make love to you” which is something they say on The 700 Club. If you’re going to be dirty, be fucking dirty.

Be cautious – And consider what you have to lose if your sexting gets out. Remember Tiger? This shit has a way of making itself public. We don’t all have as much to lose as Tiger, but it’s still something to think about. I could tell you to wait until you trust the person, but you really can’t trust anyone. And sexting strangers is half the fun. Just be aware of what you’re doing and the risks associated with it. For example, ladies: no matter how much a man promises, your dirty pic will be sent to at least a half dozen dudes.

Don’t:

Sext Drunk – Yeah, I know I also put it on my “Do” list. It’s one of those things that can be both good and bad. For example, have you ever been drunk, started sexting one person and finished up sexting someone completely different? Hey, sometimes that works. Most times, the second person knows you fucked up. I’m just saying, the drunker you are, the more risk you run.

Be creepy – Make sure texting has mutually transitioned to sexting. Guys often fuck up this transition and jump the gun too early. If you tell her she’s cute and she likes it, that doesn’t mean she’s ready to hear how badly you want to throat fuck her. Even when you do successfully transition to dirty talk, that doesn’t mean she wants a cock pic. Sexting is sexy, but a cock pic can be a buzz kill for a lot of women. She’ll ask for one if she wants one.

Sext and drive – Even worse if you’re driving naked. Texting while driving is illegal in California; sexting is probably a felony. And it really sucks to crash your car with a boner or sopping wet panties.

Use retarted acronyms  and smiley faces –  You know, OMG or LOL. This is sex, not junior high. So if you have to use acronyms, use something dirty like SMG (Stick My Gash) or LML (Lick My Lollipop). And no smileys like : ) or ; ). If not a pic ladies, at least show us your tits with a (.)(.). If you’re not ready for a real cock pic, we’ll show you C==8 or 8==D~~

Sexting is great when you move past initial flirting because it helps solidify, for both of you, where this is all headed. I’ll tell you right now though, it’s not something you can sustain more than a couple of times without getting to the good stuff. Remember, sexting is just foreplay. Get to the main event soon after or you’ll lose the opportunity.