Posts Tagged BDSM

Maybe it’s time to branch out…

Online adult dating leads to all kinds of new adventures, including BDSM, which stands for Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), and Sadomasochism (SM). I’m not saying, get into it; I’m saying, have a little fun with it if you happen to run into it. This article is really for those who don’t know much about it but are at least a little curious.

Not that I’m going to educate you on BDSM; I’m just going to tell you how to dabble. I’m assuming the terms above are understood by most.

So how do you date someone who’s into this fetish? You can easily find people with this fetish on PhoneShag. But right up front, determine who you’re dealing with–the dominant or submissive.

If you tend to be dominant, enslaving a submissive might be kind of fun. But if you’re dealing with a dominant/sadist, you might be letting them bite off more than you want them to chew.

I don’t let women tie me up, mainly because I never know who’s pissed off at me at any given time. The day I let a woman tie me to the coffee table might just be the day she found out I fucked her sister. Once you’re securely restrained, you’ve entered the Bobbitt Zone. Yeah, I shy away from restraints.

But if you’re cool with it, give it a shot.

But I suggest you start lite. Go to dinner first and practice over a meal. If they’re submissive, ask them what kind of food they despise, then order it for them. Make them clean their plate. Then ask yourself, Did I enjoy that? If you got a chubby or a little wet, maybe it’s time to throw your date into the trunk of your car and take him/her home for some real discipline.

If you have dinner with a sadist, ask them to dominate the meal. So for example, they might not let you order any food and force you to watch them eat while you and your stomach both growl loudly at the bitch. Feeling some anger? You think lack of food is bad, imagine being denied an orgasm. But if that makes it all the more tantalizing for you, then go whole nine.

My point is, ease into it. Test the waters first.

If you move forward with it, there are some terms you should know:

Safe Word/Phrase: a word or phrase the Submissive says when the painful pleasure becomes just plain pain and the Sub wants the Dom to stop. Words/phrases  like, “Gratitude” or “Shag carpet” or “That fucking hurts like hell”. I’d use something like “Don’t stop” just to be ironic. Of course, I’m sure I wouldn’t get the last laugh.

Black Snake: Ladies: if you likes black guys and you find one who’s into BDSM and he says that’s he’s pulling out the “Black Snake”, it ain’t what you think it is. It’s a type of single-lash whip that is flexible all the way to the knob.

Boundaries: Refers to limits. Make sure you negotiate this prior to BDSM play, otherwise you might become the Hannibal Lecter plate.

Chudwa: You will most likely be called this. It means Clueless, Horny, Dominant Wannabe. It’s like being called a dipshit. Don’t be offended; just beat the living shit out of the Sub. Don’t worry, they’ll enjoy it.

CBT: Guys: If someone asks you if you want a little CBT, it’s time to get the fuck out. This doesn’t mean “Computer Based Training” for you nerds out there. It means Cock and Ball Torture. Yeah, I didn’t think you were interested.

Tampon Training: Rectal insertion of tampons by male submissives to empathize with the female menstrual cycle. This is probably preceded with anal fisting, just to ensure there’s sufficient blood flow–you know, so that you can really empathize.

Vampire Glove: Guys: pass on the handjob if she pulls these gloves out. They’re thin leather driving gloves that have sharp, metal tines or tacks lining the palms. Enough said.

Even more BDSM terms HERE. Impress your date with how much you know about their fetish. Like anyone else you’re trying to get into the sack, feign extreme interest, otherwise you might not score. They take their fetish seriously, and so must you (or at least pretend to).

It’s a new year, so branch out and try new things. There’s a whole world of BDSM waiting for you. Just know, when you get your ass in a sling, you’re supposed to like it.